


in want of a window

by blackholenipples



Category: Naruto, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Gen, dimension hopping, this is only a thing because i misread a ship name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 05:04:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16319663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackholenipples/pseuds/blackholenipples
Summary: money, money, moneymust be funnyin a rich man's world





	in want of a window

There's some kind of crack in the fabric of space. Usually, she would consider it another weird rich people thing and leave it at that, but Tamaki's screeching in terror and the twins look a little pale, so maybe rich people don't generally have to deal with it. Also, there's a dude in a giant coat with dead eyes and stitches all over his face - a zombie? Who just stepped out of it, so, y'know.

Kyouya, of course, is perfectly poker-faced, but he's not really a great benchmark for normal non-android behavior.

Tamaki's screeching shuts off abruptly and— oh, would you look at that! New kid Hyuuga-san (pretty boy with a tragic past and mysterious hair care regimen - exceptionally marketable, apparently) has stepped up and punched the zombie back through the—

Nope, zombie's flying and Hyuuga’s behind him. And tackled him out the window even though they were on opposite sides of the room a moment ago.

Is that blood on the floor?

And how are they flying?

Nope, just zombie is flying, and it seems to be more like wind propulsion?

They’re outside now, rampaging through the gardens. She tries to distinguish shapes, but they’re a pair of dark blurs. Even trying to keep track of their position is giving her a headache, they’re moving so quickly.

Oh, look! There go the rosebushes!

There’s a quiet sigh, followed by a half-second of silence and then snickering.

Haruhi turns, because rich kid drama just barely beats out an epic battle she can’t really see or influence.

Kyouya’s got his eyes closed and hand resting across the bridge of his glasses and his face. Actually, for a dude that natters on at her about skincare so much, he touches his face like… a lot. Maybe he covers the resulting pimples with concealer?

He’s walking over to the window, and Haruhi winces internally, because she knows that face.

(“They’re gonna get it nowww,”

“Shut-it, Honey-senpai”)

“Hyuuga.”

She would swear in front of a jury that Kyouya didn’t raise his voice above a conversational level, but the tone is so chilling that everyone in the vicinity freezes. Haruhi sneaks a peek downwards, and yep, that includes the two maniacs now standing in the middle of the fountain.

She’s not quite sure how they’re still dry or when zombie man took his hood-cloak thingy off.

And nope, now only Hyuuga’s immobile, because Zombie dude has just punched his lights out and opened another crack in space.

“That window alone is going to be an estimated half-million yen to replace plus installation. _Surely_ you aren’t planning to go anywhere without one of the two of you paying to repair the damage you’ve wrought to this school.”

Zombie man, who clearly has no fear of slow, painful torturous death, just grins.

“Not this time. You know, dimension-hopping destabilizes dimensions and if my world implodes, I don’t get paid and all.” He says with a grin that’s threatening to turn her off of batman comics forever and steps through the crack in space and disappears.

Haruhi looks at Kyouya and takes a step back.

He looks _perfectly_ calm.

She flees.

(Note to self: hide the library’s science fiction section before he gets any ideas about hunting down dimension-jumping assholes and destabilizes this world.)

 

**Author's Note:**

> a) kakuzu has a joker smile  
> b) i love haruhi, no attention span and the embodiment of that one mulaney quote: some days, you think "this may as well happen"


End file.
